Congressman Robert Wexler (D-Fla.) is taking a little heat for joking about cocaine use and consorting with prostitutes on the Colbert Show. It's a bit unfair. He's unopposed but Colbert wanted to see if there were any statments that might cause him to lose. He asked him to complete the sentences "I enjoy using cocaine because ..." and "I enjoy the company of prostitutes for the following reasons ...." Wexler, who may not be quick on the uptake, essentially said that both were "fun." I wouldn't know.
It's always easy to be clever when you are not on the spot but as a service to others who may find themselves in similar situations, here are some responses that would have been better.
"I enjoy using cocaine because ...
... longevity is overrated."
... I never wanted to pay my mortgage anyway."
... runny noses and bloodshot eyes are sexy."
... rationality is a bore."
... I seek solidarity with the homeless."
"I enjoy the company of prostitutes for the following reasons ...
... who needs the wife and kids anyway?"
... medical science has done wonders with sexually transmitted diseases."
... what other choice do I have?"
... I'm sick of Congress, anyway."